Edward's Night of Confessions
by Mr. and Mrs. Cullen
Summary: Edward and Bella have a talk during their honeymoon vacation. **yes people i made an error when i meant to say robe and said rope instead** Also i am not following the series at all,the characters are a little OOC so deal with it. Its a fan fic! ughhh!
1. Midnight Love

**Summary:D**oesn't everyone want to know what happened at the beach while edward and Bella swimmed...I am making it special and long...so read all the chapters.

**Disclaimer: **To my defense I will say that i do not own Twilight at all. I wish I did.

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Midnight Love

What on earth is taking this girl so long? Come to think about it Alice didn't give her much of choice when it came to clothes. Here I am in our honeymoon by myself in the waters of the island that Esme has let us borrowed for a couple of weeks. I told her to come swimming with it and it looks like I ask her to go to sleep. Might as well enjoy it myself them there is nothing I can do if she doesn't want to come out. I dropped my clothes somewhere close and dived into the water. To me the water had no temperature and it felt good on my skin.

Being on this island was the best idea that has ever come from my family. Here I am alone and can't hear anyone. My mind is so clear that I can enjoy everything and every sight in this melodious island. I haven't been in such peace for such a long time that it feels awkward to me. But what does it matter? I am here with my wife fidgeting over what to wear. I never thought I would marry anyone, a vampire of my kind usually don't marry at all so I wasn't expecting to have someone with me…like this. Even though she disagreed to the whole weeding; now I know that it has been the best time of her life as well.

What worries me the most is Jake. What does he want? It is obvious that now that she is married to me there is nothing much he can do but accept. Why am I thinking about this? I am swimming as far away from the shore enjoying the cold air hit my now cold skin. Still Jake was trying to hard the day of our wedding, and it looks like its never going to stop. That makes me real angry that such child can't understand the signs that someone is sending out to him. Jake is so hard headed yet a good kid, but what is it with this fixation he has on my wife! I need to stop thinking about or it's going to ruin my stay here.

As I turn around what to I see? My pretty wife in nothing but a rope how interesting. And I thought she was afraid of all those bikinis and lingerie that Alice has brought for her. As I come out the water I see her eyes widen as she takes a good look at my body. Closing my distance from her I start to see that usual blush that appears in her face, that blush that makes me want her more every day. Slowly she lets the rope fall and I have a good view of her body now. She is so perfect in every part of her sensual body. Her skin in the moonlight looked just as pale as mine, her breast looked so tempting. I wanted to feel her to touch her, to love her.

"Edward Cullen" she comes closer to me and presses her lips to mine.

I kissed her back losing myself in her scent. Losing myself in the taste of her tongue opening my mouth to make the kiss more passionate. I felt my self-control being torn by this passion to make this woman mine. But what if I hurt her? What if I go overboard?

"You won't hurt me Edward"

I looked into her eyes and I can see my self-control diminishing. The more time I spend with her the more danger I put her into. Then again I promised her that we would try, and that I would try my best not to hurt her.

"Bella I don't think this is a good idea"

She smiles, that wicked smile that lets me know I can't get out of this one even if I tried. I had promised her something and now I had to keep my word. I know I couldn't turn back but it wouldn't hurt to try.

"Bella please…" my sentence was driven away by her kiss.

"Edward…you promised me that we would try. If it doesn't go the way you wanted then we wouldn't do it again"

I couldn't resist what was in front of me. I was a man after all, and I felt a desire to teach this girl what a man of my kind can do. So I dropped my hands and let her take me into the kiss. I moved my hands slowly making circles around her back, trailing them down to her small yet nice butt. She held in her breath and smiled at me, I guess she thought I was giving in. And in reality I was, I wanted to make her mine, I've been waiting for this moment for a very long time.

"Edward Cullen…make me yours like we both want to", I had nothing to say to her, she was making me go against my will here yet not all against it. We slowly got to our knees and I laid her down in the smooth skin of the sand. She smiled at me with her filled with longing for what was about to happen.

A lot of things were running through my mind, what if I go overboard and hurt her? Then again I will not know until I try it. I have never been this intimate with a girl not even in my mortal life. This is more complicated than I thought, but I will giver what she wants with or without my consent.

All I want is to make her happy and make her mine. Even if this doesn't turn out good I know that I will not regret having her under me enjoying my pleasure. With that said and done I kiss her right in the nape of her neck and she moans.

How will I love this beautiful woman? I will find a way…


	2. Why Shouldn't I?

**Why Shouldn't I?**

**Summary: **Edward thinks of the things he can do to Bella. Will he hurt her to keep her safe from himself?

**Disclaimer: **looks at audience sigh No i don not own it! GO Edward GO!!

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She lays there, her bare body ready for the touch that it longs to have. She patiently waits for me knowing that this is a hard choice I have to make. I am choosing her life over pleasure. I can feel it already, the longing to strike her and taste her sweet scented blood in my lips. What do I really want? The girl or the blood that runs through her veins? In reality a person of my kind doesn't know the difference, we are so unknown to feelings that we can't tell the difference between hunger and love. It is our instinct that we feed on the human kind, but this girl? Well I can't.

She lies there quietly wondering what is running through my head. Her eyes filled in understanding at my own self-torture. Her hand brushes against my cheek and she lets it rest there. She trusts me not to hurt her, but do I trust myself not to do it? My choice was made when her lips reached for mine and I tasted her. My world started to sway as I made myself stand the torture this brought to be. My nails dug deeply into the sand, and my vision became clearer. If I didn't teach myself how to control that dead part of me this was going to turn out tragic. These feelings I've felt them before and that was when I first met her. The fear of hurting a new girl who made her way into my life.

"Bella?"

She looks at me with a puzzled look but she smiles either way, she knows this is going to take a while.

"Yes?"

I breathe in, not that I need it anyways.

"Remember when we first met at school?"

She frowned, of course she remembered. There was nothing that she would forget from all the ignoring and walking away that I did that first week she was introduced into my life.

"Of course I do, it was one of the most weirdest weeks ever. I didn't know what was going on with you. It was as if you hated me for no reason", she kissed my lips again and I felt my sense of being going back to zero again.

"Do you know why I was doing that?"

"No"

"Because when I first saw you to me you where nothing but food. You were the person that was really not helping me to get better. Before you came no one in the town of Forks interested me, not even their scent. But when you came in it seems that I couldn't get rid of your scent. You where everywhere and anywhere I went"

I don't know how it all came to be this way, me telling her of the way she use to be to me before I realized I loved her.

"Edward…that was the past. That's not going to happen now you have more control than what you give yourself credit for"

We both sat up our naked bodies glowing from the moonlight. She stared at me with longing in her eyes. Her blush deepening as she takes a look at my body and then looks at me straight in the eyes. What is it that girls seem to find in me? Doesn't matter, to the human eye we are the most beautiful creatures that have ever walked the earth. That's what she saw, the beautiful creatures in the mythical books. But she always overlooked the fact that one day I could kill her.

"Bella…what I am will always be part of my life, and sometimes I can't help but to push you away. I don't want to hurt you…" I kiss her lips slowly and passionately "…because you mean too much to me. For you I would do anything Mrs. Cullen"

She smiled at the sound of my voice calling her by my last name. Did she really want this for herself? Being stuck in a world that would never change? Lying and doing the same things all over again? Just to be me with me?

There are times when I think humans are so stupid but I guess that's just how they are. Push them into the danger every single day not caring if they live or die. That's how Bella is 99 of the time, she doesn't care that tonight might be her last night. The only thing she cares is that she enjoys it and maybe lives to talk about it. Yes! Stupid humans!

"Edward…Whether you hurt me or not could really wait. You've always been like this the sudden fear, but its time for you to believe. It's time for you to stop blaming yourself for what you are and embrace it! You've lived like this for so long…"

I cut her off; I couldn't let her keep on talking. She was making things worse and she didn't even know.

"Bella a decade ago you weren't here to stir all the instincts that I've been trying to forget. Back then I was alone mending for myself and no one else. There were no worries and the world was full of boredom. Now that you are here…well…I can't seem to take a break. Either I am constantly fighting with myself about you, or I am fighting to keep you alive and well"

Her stare dug deep inside me, and I feared that maybe I have hit some nerve with what I have said. Her head bowed down and I head a sob coming from under her long brown hair. I tried to pick her head up but she shoved my hand away, and then I realized that I have hurt her feelings. The tears started falling down being swallowed by the sand in which we sat.

"So…I am just a burden to you?"

I shivered, what should I tell her?

"No you are not! That's not what I meant. I don't regret meeting you and especially I don't regret marrying you. But what I am trying to get through your head is that I am not a normal boy. And there are things that I can't let it come out otherwise you wouldn't be standing here"

The sudden impact of her hand striking my cheek was not what I expected. Of course by now pain wasn't one of the things I regularly felt. She wanted to say something but she didn't know how. I still can't read her mind but I know she has something to say. The tears falling down her face made her so beautiful that I wanted to kiss her. But as soon as my face came close to hers, she walked away from me. She got up and walked down the beach not looking back at me.

What have I done? I need to make it right!

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I changed the title of the story for a reason...there was this girl who kept on bothering how it wasn't like the book. GIRL IT'S A FANFICTION...that means i can make it the way i want it. sticks tongue. please review.


	3. Just Pure Words

**Summary: **There is nothing Edward can say anything without causing her to go into a bitch fit, Will his singing help calm her down? Who knew he can sing...lol.

**Disclaimer: **I still wish i owned this awesome characters. But I don't. I also don't own the song "Lullaby" by Creed.

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**Just Pure Words**

She kept on walking away from me, and I could hear her sobs endlessly coming out of her sweet parted lips. Was she really that hurt from what I said? What am I suppose to do then? Lie and tell her that I don't think of her as what she is? A human sacrifice to my poor senseless needs? No, wait…it's more than that! The feelings that I have for her are more than just my vampire needs. It was the love for her that has been growing all this time. The love that kept me going back to her room, to keep her company. The danger I put myself to safe her from James and Victoria. There is nothing else that can explain the things I have done for her.

She kept on walking from me, her eyes straight to the end of the endless beach. I can catch up to her in a flash, but I thought that maybe some time to chill out her thoughts might be good.

"Go away Edward!"

"How about no"

She stopped, turned around and said, "I can't forget what you said"

I smiled at her, "Then remember the good things I said as well. I love you Bella and that's the reason why I keep reminding you that there are dangers when you become the wife of a vampire"

She scowled at me as though I've insulter her.

"It won't be for long remember that?"

I looked at her with saddened eyes. Yes I knew it will not for long, and the worse part is that I will have to do it. That's another thing that I don't like about this whole situation. I don't have the power that Carlisle has within himself. I can kill when I almost turn her into a vampire. I could lose all that I am in that spur of the moment. I don't want to lose her at all; it will really mean the end of my life.

"You don't seem to understand do you? You are the wife of a dangerous creature that could end your life. Are you so naïve that you can't see your time running out?"

She fell to the floor on her knees and started to sob once again.

"How many times do you have to tell me that? I know what I've gotten myself into. You don't have to constantly tell me the kind of man I have for a husband. There is a reason why agreed to this marriage"

She came to me slowly and I was afraid for a second. I know Bella and when she wants to get violent she does. But instead she came to me and wrapped her arms around my waist. Her body started to shake from the cold of the weather in which we stood. I wrapped my arms around her as well and moved some lose strands of her from her eyes. She was looking at me and I saw the sadness in her face. How could I've caused her so much pain? I wrapped my arms around her body and ran to the place were our cloths where situated. I dressed her slowly but seductively, while she did the same to me. Things seem to brighten up as we played this dress-up game. But when this was over her face turned back to the sea and she would not look at me.

"What's wrong now Bella?"

She turned to look at me again and her face was filled with tears, she had not stopped crying. I ran to her and held her once again in my arms. And so I began to sing her a song I heard in the radio a couple of days ago.

"_Hush my love now don't you cry  
Everything will be all right  
Close your eyes and drift in dream  
Rest in peaceful sleep_"

She turned to kiss my lips, her pretty eyes swollen from crying. She smiled at me now and her face was filled with warmth. She likes it when I sing its something that soothers her to no end. She is like my number one fan in all the things I do. It makes me feel good inside, it also makes me believe that maybe deep inside myself I do have a soul.

_"__If there's one thing I hope I showed you  
Hope I showed you  
Just give love to all"_

_"Oh my love... in my arms tight  
Every day you give me life  
As I drift off to your world  
Will rest in peaceful sleep"_

She smiled at me again and her tears began to dry. She seemed drowsy and tired as she laid her head in my chest. And so i sang the last lyrics to the song.

_" I know there's one thing that you showed me_

_Just give love to all _

_Let's give love to all" _

She smiled again and said, "Edward Cullen is there nothing you are not good at? Because i can't find no flaw on you...other than being a hungry vampire of course"

In other words she has not understand anything that I have said. Not that I care at this moment. All that I wanted was for her to stop crying. Her tears make my insides churn with pain and agony...something I haven't felt in over decades.

"So you still don't get it?"

She frowned, "No, I get it. I know what I am getting myself into. But you are worth all the anger in the world. There is no one else I see myself with other than you"

I didn't know what to tell her so I kissed her and I felt her body push itself against me. I felt the world sway and I forced myself to hold on to her and kissed her like she wanted me to. And so I did, I kissed her with a passion that was never there. My tongue pushed itself against her closed lips parting them for me to taste her. My hand brushed her hair away from her face. I caressed her hair over and over again, feeling her shudder under my touch.

Her hands rested on my chest easly going down to strip me off my t-shirt one again. Her hands explored under my shirt and I moaned silently. Her hands traveled up and down my spine resting here and there. She made her way down my beltbuckle trying to work it out. I was enjoying this sexual attention, yet I wasn't going to fall for this trick. I pushed her hands out of the way.

"No" the word came out weird since i was panting. She made all this emotions come out of me and it wasn't fair. Not for a vampire of my kind that constantly thought of her as a meal than anything else.

"FINE!"

"Wait...Bella!"

And so with that she ran again from me this time to the little house that we live him in this island. I guess whatever I do is not going to get through her thick skull.

I guess the best I can do is just let it go..._hm this woman is hard headed._But then again she is my wife.

Whatever...I will think about something...

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**Mr. & Mrs. Cullen:**OMG!! i saw this dude that looked like Edward that one night...i Nearly fainted...Please review.


	4. Slip & Slide

**Summary:**Edward is being locked up outside and decides to go swimming? What happens when a pretty blond donates her life to cure his thirst? Will he fail to be clean? Or will he fall?

**Disclaimer:**I do not own Twilight. I wish I did...and yes i know people I had to...Edward is too innocent...lol.

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**Slip & Slide**

There is much that I can do if she were to lock me outside. I mean I've never angered her to the point were she had to lock me out of the house. Not that she had to, the window was always my entrance. She walked fast and let herself through the house, and as I expect it she locked me outside. As a vampire I could break all the rules and still break inside the house. But if I were to do that then there is no respect between my wife and me. I sat there by the porch, wondering and thinking that maybe I spoke too much. Bella never likes to hear the truth and more when it's in front of her. From afar I hear dishes being washed and her silent sobs penetrating my ears. Sometimes I hate being a vampire, I hear too much and I don't like that about myself.

She sticks her head through the window and sees that I am still waiting by the porch for the door to be open. The puzzled look in her eyes almost made me want to smile, but I held it in because if I did that she would think I am laughing at her. So I stood there my hair flowing due to the windy weather that has arrived this night. I looked at her with an apologetic look in face.

"Why are you waiting outside when you can easily come in?"

I had nothing to say to her, her childish attitude was really getting on my nerves. If it weren't because I loved her I would not be dealing with this shit at all.

"Because I thought that maybe you would appreciate time on your own. Am I wrong for giving you sometime alone? To my understanding that's what humans need when they are angry. Right?" I think I said something wrong again.

"Great! I know that Edward. But sometimes I would like to stop reminding me how inferior you are to me"

Either I heard wrong or its all made up inside my head. Did she just say I was inferior to her? Well…in some sense I am to her. But I've never made her feel like that. My family has treated her like an equal and the only thing I have been doing is warn her about me.

"Can I come in?" I ask her.

She smiled, "You are a vampire you can live outside for a while"

I walked away from the house and she screamed my name. I really wasn't going to put p with her today. I feel bad as it is for not making her mine and she is not making it any better right now. As I walked back to the beach getting ready for another swim from the corner of my eyes I saw someone staring at me.

"I saw you today Mr. Cullen"

I've never in my life seen this girl that stood before me. She was thin, blond long curly hair. But at the same time I didn't mind to my understanding I needed some company. I guess you could say that being mad at Bella wasn't the best thing to do, more or less when there is another female in the island.

"What are you doing here?"

She smiled at me and said, "To see you Mr. Cullen"

For some reason I could smell her scent but didn't interest me. As a said before the only blood that I wanted was my wife's and that wasn't going to happen. So I thought about this girl and the lonely island. Bella was far away, and I haven't fed in a human for such a long time. Maybe…just maybe…I had the right to slip. This girl that I didn't know started to smell quite good. Maybe because I was tuning in with my vampire senses, and well I haven't done that in a while.

"So you came to see me?"

I saw her skin flush with the heat of her blood. Man I wanted to grab her and bite her right at the nape of her neck.

"I know what you are Mr. Cullen. And I have come to tell you to use me, feed on me"

Was this human more crazy than my wife? But at the moment there was no turning back. She just seems so delicious from were I'm standing. She came closer to me unbuttoning her shirt as she approached me. She licked her lips once as a sign of fear but determination to do what she meant to do.

"Are you sure?" Was I really agreeing to this? Was the monster inside me really out for good? I came close to her and touched her flushed cheeks. She closed her eyes and moaned softly. She was beautiful and very tempting; up to this point I just wanted to take her. Her scent was driving me mad by now, and so I held her in arms. And turned her neck at an angle where I could get the best of her.

"Yes Mr. Cullen. I know that your wife is human and that you cannot take her. So instead…take me"

With that said and done I dug my teeth into her skin and started sucking the life out of her. Her body writhed and convulsed in my arms. Her screams were covered up by the tides noisy crash to the rocks. The fullness and wholeness that I felt as the first drop of blood touched my lip was heavenly. Her blood was sweet, kind of like tasting sweet sour candy. I could hear heart beat slowly beating now as the blood was being sucked out her being. She breathed her last breath and then fell limply in my arms. As i finish sucking her dry I did the most sickest thing that any other human...well i am not human. I picked her and threw her out into the ocean, what i had done has no forgiveness. I have finally fallen to the lowest and Carlisle would not be mad but he would disappointed.

"Edward?" I head Bellas vice from afar. I wasn't really paying attention to my surroundings I had just killed an innocent girl who asked me to do it.

"H-How long have you been standing there?"

She smiled "Just right now, came to apologize for all the scenes Ive been making today"

I ran to her and held her tight. I never want her to find out about what just happened tonight. Her head rested on my chest and then all of a sudden she let out a sudden yelp. She untangled herself from me and looked at me with frighten eyes.

"Is that blood in your shirt?"

"Yes Bella it is...I do go hunting"

She relaxed a little and let out a sigh "I heard a girl scream...for a while I thought that you...never mind"

I held her for a while like this...letting her not look down to the sand where the blood was being sucked in my the beach. She will never know...not as long as she is with me.

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Waaaaaaa! I am proud of NENE...he came with this idea...hopefully i dont get an agry mob of edward lovers...i love edward too but he was too innocent...so i broke it...muahahahaahahahaaha!


	5. My santuary

**Summary: **Edward falls what will happen now? Will he tell his parents...or even Bella at all?

**Disclaimer:** No i do not own Twilight. I wish I did.

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**My sanctuary**

There was no way I was going to tell Bella what had happened at the beach, she would really freak out and probably never talk to me again. Yet she knows what I am and knows what I've been holding from doing. She would not hold it against me to act on my nature, or at least I hope she doesn't.

"Edward? Are you alright?"

I didn't know what to tell her, the pain and disappointment really tugged at me. I had practiced so much to never do this again.

"I need to tell you something, but promise you won't freak out"

Her brown eyes stare at me intently, "Go on"

"Remember when I walked away from you? Well I went back to the beach and tried to swim. When I got there a female spoke to me. She was very nice about it when she told she wanted me to take her life. And…I did Bella. I took her life away and fed the monster I held inside. Do you see what I mean? I can always slip and kill somebody. I might have more control than Jasper…but him and me go through the same torture. Jasper just takes it harsher due to his past actions"

By the time I was done talking Bella she had wrapped her arms around me, rocking me back and forth. That movement was soothing to my wrecked self. She didn't run away from me like I though, instead she held me and told me everything was going to be ok. That we all go through some problems like this in our lives. I wanted to push her away and tell her she is making a mistake. But if she did I would fall apart and let free of my insanity.

"You're not afraid?"

"Edward…when I told you that I knew what I was getting myself into I wasn't lying. I love you Edward Cullen, vampire and all. There is nothing I want other than what you are", she kissed my lips softly.

There was a noise coming out of my throat and I recognized it as sobbing. I couldn't cry yet I sobbed like a baby being neglected all night. She held me close pressing my face to her chest and that also was soothing. I looked up at her and kissed her lips fully this time, passionately pressing myself to her. She wasn't resisting, her hands tangled with curly black hair.

"Edward…Carlisle is not going to like this at all. He is going to wonder what made you do this, and I hope you don't say it was my fault for pushing your buttons. Anyways what did you do with the girl? After you were done with her?"

I stood up and pointed to the ocean. She yelped again…kind of like a dog being kicked for the third time.

"You threw her in the ocean?"

"Yes I did Bella…I don't know what was going through my head. All I knew is that I had fucked up and that I had to clear it out. Bella I never wanted this to happen"

I walked away from her; I didn't feel like communicating at all. I felt less human than any other day in my decades of being a vampire. So hard to work and blend in when in reality I knew that was never going to happen. I was an old man stuck in a seventeen-year-old body and that was not something I could easily ignore. All this years training myself to go after animals and forget that humans are nothing but living beings you converse with.

I sat by the beach the sand stained by the blood of that pretty blond that was now sinking underwater. I punched the sand and cursed to all the gods there is in this forsaken world. I screamed my lungs out and asked why did this have to happen now. Why do all this problems seem to appear every time I seem to be content with the life I have.

"Edward its OK. You will not do it again I know that"

I turned to Bella and the person I saw in her eyes was not the same vampire who had said 'I do' at the altar. I was someone else, someone different that did not existed in this universe.

"You don't know that!"

She smiled, "Yes I do Edward, there is nothing more in the world that you regret than hurting another human life. You will not do this again"

She was right I would never do this again. This was the worse I've done since I left her and I didn't plan on doing this again anytime soon. Remembering how that girl screamed and struggled to herself free will haunt me for life. As I go back and think about it again, the face of the girl changed into Bella's. I covered my face with my hands and started sobbing again. How could I think like this? Bella? Would it really end like this at the end? NO! I love her and I would hurt myself first than hurting her at all. I did a lot for her, and I will not let myself ruin this.

"You are right Bella, I will never do this again. The memory of that girl's face haunts me still. She want it this to happen though. I never thought I would not resist and I guess I was wrong. Bella this is what I am afraid of that one day I will lose control and not be able to hold off. I love you and I don't want to be the cause of the end of your mortal life"

She cried silent tears for me and she looked at me she said, "It will happen anyways. You promised it to me and you can't go back on your word. But I will be back and still with you forever and never let you go"

Bella...my Bella...she is my sanctuary..my one and only safe haven

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**Mr. & Mrs Cullen:**I know Edward looks like a pig...still love him though. But he is not that bad..his innocence when he does something wrong is soooooooo cute.


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